While far from a “heavy user”, I do check Facebook often. And there is something that I have noticed about the world I inhabit there. While it ostensibly gives me a window into the lives of my friends all around the world I see only the most curated view. This is because we connect in a pseudo world, a place quite different from the real one, with its own set of rules and regulations. Here are some of the attributes of life in a Facebook world.
1) We wake up happy, every day!
In this place we wake up happy, no ecstatic, every day without fail. You see, we love our Facebook world. Here we keep occupied with only life’s most incredible pursuits. One day we board a flight to an exotic local (only business class will do), the next we sip on cocktails with little umbrella’s, or stand triumphantly in front of the world’s great monuments. Often, we are so excited about our day’s pursuits that we snap a quick selfie. We are, naturally, locked in a bright smile. At other moments, during a night of debauchery, our arms are wrapped exuberantly around friends in what surely includes wild sex, heavy drinking and general mayhem. We live life to it’s fullest, and each day surpasses the last for the sheer happiness we exude.
2) We Always Know Just What to Say
We can be playful, we can be coy, but we always know just what to say. Whether it’s pointing to a clever Meme (Cue Business Baby with caption: Susan, reschedule my 9 o’clock meeting. I just shit my pants”), or links to inspiring articles (91 year-old man runs marathon in 3:04) we are never at a loss for words. We talk with the self assuredness of someone who knows that what we say has great importance for our wide audience of listeners.
3) We Have the Solution to The World’s Greatest Problems
There are difficult moments in the Facebook world. We are, after all realists, who understand that there are real issues at stake. When we saw the movie “The Cove” we lamented the horrendous act of killing dolphins, adding a link to the film and saying “Shameful behaviour: we need to stop this- NOW” with a link to an online petition. We make lots of these timely statements about the world’s conundrums, and explain how we have the solution at hand. For instance, after the earthquake in Haiti, we noted that we’d already donated $100 to Red Cross. We patiently explain that we only use biodegradable products in an effort to ward of climate change. While we don’t outright say it, we imply that following our lead will improve the lot for us all.